As we near the end of August, with a new academic year about to start for those of us with children (or, if you’re returning to school), it’s a good time to reflect on what we really want in our life moving forward living in a new normal that continues to evolve under Covid19.
For me, the fall season is a time of new beginnings. Perhaps it’s because of my many years of schooling and/or seeing the children start a new academic year. The new year – January 1st doesn’t work for me. The darkness of winter and the cold outside does not inspire me to start new things.
So, this fall, I encourage you to reflect on what really matters to you and say “No” more often when it does not align to what you want for your life. It’s time to live your life intentionally and that means, knowing when to say “No” to make room for the YES in your life.
Saying “No” creates healthy boundaries.
And this is a good thing. Boundaries are different for every relationship we have in our lives. When you decide on a boundary, you are telling the other person, this is what works for me and, if they set their own healthy boundary, then both of you will be living your relationship from a healthy place.
Covid19 is presenting many of us with hardships and challenges. It is also giving us time to pause and reflect on what we do want in our life and what we want to eliminate, as possible.
Reflect on the following:
- Who you spend time with;
- How you spend your money; and,
- How you spend your time.
Do a reality check if the choices you’ve been making actually align to what you really want for your life. And afterwards, find the courage to make the necessary changes to bring better results to your every day life.
Saying “No” starts with saying YES to yourself.
Learning to say “No” is key to living a healthy life. Knowing when to say “No” allows us to align our lives with our values and what we really want to manifest in our lives.
You do not have to participate in someone else’s drama. It’s theirs, not yours.
I don’t know about you but, one of my challenges has been wanting to please other people – i.e. my children – before I please myself. Or, feeling obligated to do things for others just because they asked me.
Maybe you can relate to the following statements that happen in your head when you’re agreeing to do something even if it’s not important to you:
- “I will disappoint them if I say No.”
- “I will create conflict or drama if I say No.”
- “I really want to be seen as a good employee (or daughter, mother, spouse, friend, etc).”
Saying “No” is a learnable skill.
Give yourself permission to say “No” without feeling any guilt or feeling selfish. If the other person is not OK with this, then they don’t have your best interest at heart.
Remember, you have the right to say “No” without having to explain yourself. It will be awkward at first and that’s normal. It’s a learned skill that for many of us, has taken too long to learn.